


If I Could

by navaan



Category: Versailles no Bara | Rose of Versailles
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gender Issues, POV Female Character, Romance, Yuletide 2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-23
Updated: 2010-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-14 00:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oscar watches Rosalie dance at a ball, and thinks about the strange situation her upbringing has gotten her into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Could

**Author's Note:**

  * For [windstar127](https://archiveofourown.org/users/windstar127/gifts).



> Inspired by a scene in the manga

Oscar watched Rosalie dance. At Oscar’s insistence she was wearing a wide, yellow gown, and she was looking so much like a true princess that nobody would ever suspect her of having grown up in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Paris. She was smiling at the young Count whom she is dancing with - a little shy and maybe even a little surprised by his attentions.

The girl didn’t know yet that she shines like a star. Oscar hoped she would never discover the devastating power her beauty could give her in court machinations. She hoped that Rosalie would be able to keep her appealing innocence.

She also hoped the young man doesn’t have designs on Rosalie.

“If I could ever marry a woman, it would be you, Rosalie.” Oscar still remembered the first time she told Rosalie these exact words. She remembered saying it to console the girl, and to help her understand that she did care for her deeply.

She hadn’t known then how true it really was.

Before Rosalie had come into her life, to live with them like a little sister or ward, Oscar had never even thought about marriage or building her own family. She had always taken for granted that she was to live as her fathers son and pursue her military carrier. Her personal feelings had never been part of the equation. It had been normal to be set apart from her sisters and from the courtiers who saw her as something exotic, something strange but interesting.

Her life had been set out for her. And she had never questioned it. Up until now.

When she had been a child, she had dreamed of becoming a valiant knight, protecting noble ladies and fighting decisive battles for her king. Only when she had gotten older, had she realized that she would always stay a girl in man’s clothing. She could live like a man, talk like a man, ride, fight and shoot like a man, but the fact remained that she was a woman.

She was the youngest daughter of General de Jarjayes and everybody at court knows the truth.

It was likely that no-one would bat an eye at her taking lovers - male or female. But marriage? How would that ever work for her? She could never formally marry a woman - and it was unlikely that she will ever choose to marry a man. Her father saw her as son. He wouldn’t expect her to marry. Because getting married would mean that she would have to give up her life as a Royal Guard to become a wife and mother. That was not the goal life had set for her.

Marriage.

Every woman’s dream, but not really hers. She _loved_ the freedom of her male life. It was something she can’t imagine living without.

But Rosalie was a girl with dreams, too. She could see the love in her young eyes every time they are together, when they went out riding, when she teached her fencing or dancing. Oscar has felt many looks follow her through the magnificent halls of Versailles. She had seen everything directed at her from disgust and hatred to awe and outright lust. But never this kind of adoration and love that was always in Rosalie’s eyes when she looked up at her.

She was looking at her now over the shoulder of her dancing partner, searching, questioning.

It was Oscar’s turn to reassure her with a smile, but it didn’t really come to her. Rosalie tried to disentangle herself from her partner to come to her, and Oscar felt slightly guilty. A little less so, when the young man tried to hold her charge back, still all charms and smiles, but too insistent for Oscar’s liking.

With a few strides she was at Rosalie’s side. “I’m sorry, the next dance was promised to me,” she said in her most commanding tone. The young Count was thinking of protesting for only a moment, then nodded and stepped back.

A nearly soundless laugh escaped Rosalie, but Oscar caught it and allowed herself to smile wryly in return.

“I think you scared him,” Rosalie whispered, taking Oscar’s outstretched hand, following her lead. She had become quite the expert dancer.

“I hope so,” Oscar said, managing to sound indifferent.

Rosalie smiled and they danced. It felt disturbingly normal, although Oscar had made it a point to dance only on special occasions. She was beginning to ask herself if this _was_ a special occasion. The crowd was whispering, watching the dancers part and reunite throughout the steps of the minuet. The attention was clearly focused on the two of them. Oscar could feel it. She was used to the interest. Everything she did started new gossip.

“You’re a good dancer,” Rosalie observed when the dance had ended and Oscar was leading her to the terrace to get some air, Rosalie’s arm in hers. They must look like many of the young couples that take a walk after dancing: A young man in uniform, a beautiful lady dressed for a ball. It would be easy to fool people that didn’t know Oscar. She knew from experience that she could fool anyone that wasn’t familiar with her family.

“You’re an _amazing_ dancer,” Rosalie repeated softly, overlooking the garden. “You should dance more often. The ladies would be very happy about it.”

“I’m sure they would. And I don’t think that my bachelor status would have anything to do with it, either.”

“Some of them are quite taken with you,” Rosalie chuckled, looking away quickly to hide a light blush. “I guess, if you were a man, you’d be the most eligible bachelor around.”

“If I were a man, there would be only one woman I’d want to look at.” She gave Rosalie a pointed look, but Rosalie is still not looking at her.

“You mean...” she turned, met her eyes. “Oh.” Realization. A real blush spread across her features, making her even more beautiful.

“I told you once that if I could, I’d marry you. You’re a nice girl, Rosalie, so much better that any of these rich daughters. Never forget that.”

Rosalie’s expression changed from the happy to a grave one. It made her look mature and knowing, less innocent, but even more beautiful to Oscar. This girl was going to be a strong and beautiful woman one day soon. “I know - and I won’t forget,” she said and it sounds like an oath.

They stand like this for a moment, staring into the darkness of the night, ignoring the music and laughter behind them.

“I really meant it, Rosalie, if I could...”

“I know.”

There was nothing more to say.

“Let’s go back inside. It’s getting cold and your admirer’s will miss you,” Rosalie joked, lighting the mood with her own laughter.

Oscar let herself be pulled along.

Maybe she would dance one more dance tonight.

After all it seemed today _was_ special.


End file.
